Latest News
  • Colorado Coach Struggling to Provide Adequate Supply of Pizza to Extraordinarily Hungry Students Camping Out
  • Beloved College Tradition Involves Acting Like You Didn’t Receive A College Education
  • Entire Arena Gasping Every Time Kevin Ware Jumps
  • New Division IV Football To Utilize All-Time QBs
  • Safety Ejected for Hitting Self Too Hard on Helmet After Dropped Interception
  • Associated Press Ranks Itself Ahead of USA Today Poll for 904th Consecutive Week
  • Fantasy College Football Commissioner Impressed League Members Cared as Long as They Did
  • Mascot Exerting Much More Effort Than Team
  • Oklahoma State Players Not Responding Well to Pay Cuts
  • Brent Musburger Desperately Searching for Katherine Webb on Tinder
  • Sports Illustrated Wraps Up Dull Half Paragraph Exposé Into BYU Program
  • Oklahoma State Long Snapper: “What? You Guys Have Been Getting Paid?”
  • LGBT Athlete Groups Campaign for Same-Sex Impermissible Benefits
  • Happy Referee Turns False Start Hand Signal Into Dance
  • Lee Corso Wanders Off
  • Les Miles: ‘I Honestly Didn’t Think $200 Was Money’
  • Muschamp Blame Self for Loss, ‘Could Have Been Louder’
  • Longhorns Running Spread Defense
  • Nick Saban Smirks as Make-A-Wish Child Stuffed at Line of Scrimmage During Alabama Practice
  • Report: Lee Corso’s Whole Deal Pretty Sad If You Think About It
  • Concussed Freshman Linebacker Wishes He Could Remember His First College Tackle
  • Walk-On Walked On
  • Alabama Football Player Mispronounces Major
  • Fully-Uniformed BU Hockey Team Patiently Waiting by Edge of Pond Until They Can Begin Practice
  • Both Sidelines Erupt Upon Hitting The Over
  • Brent Musburger Now Dating Miss Alabama 1964
  • Sideline Reporter Interrupts Broadcast to Be Hot for Fifteen Seconds
  • BREAKING: BCS Officials Adds Fifth Team to Playoff Just to Fuck With You
  • BYU Announces Another Very Modest Schedule
  • Yeshiva University Experimenting With Innovative ‘Schmear’ Offense
  • ‘Please, for the Love of God’ Inserted Into Every Verse of Colorado Fight Song

ACC to Require Players to Attempt to Reach Peaceful Resolution Before Tackling Ballcarriers

GREENSBORO, NC — In further efforts to increase player safety on the field, the ACC will require defensive players to initiate peace talks before making violent tackles on ball carriers. “A violent tackle should be made only after all other options have been exhausted,” said ACC officiating supervisor Doug Rhoads. “We’re encouraging players to talk it out first. If they agree on a spot where the offensive player likely would have been tackled, the player can just take a knee there, and nobody has to get hurt.” Surprisingly, some of the game’s biggest hitters are in full support of the change. “I’ve actually always tried to convince my opponents to give themselves up before I make the tackle,” said South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney, who delivered perhaps the most memorable hit of the bowl season and is believed to be the inspiration for this drastic rule change. “I didn’t want to knock [Michigan running back] Vincent Smith into a parallel timeline. But after a lengthy 1.7 seconds of talks, he was firm on demanding one more yard. It’s devastating when talks break down, but luckily we were able to minimize civilian casualties in that instance.”

photo credit: VaMedia via photopin cc